Ever feel like you’ve been duped into choices you didn’t want?
Lackluster career? Check. Unremarkable health? Check. Superficial enjoyments? Check. Suffocating debts? Check.
On many levels, I believe life is like a shady sales form: decisions are pre-selected for you like little opt-in checkboxes. Such checkboxes are barely detectable or seductively designed because Mr. Salesman doesn’t want you unchecking them. Small wonder then that so many end up committed to choices that they’d never knowingly agree to.
Offering choices pre-selected is borderline unethical, at best. At worst, it’s a flagrant abuse of trust. Much of what flows into our life inbox is junk mail teeming with these insidious opt-in boxes. They distort our focus, drain our energy, and complicate our every thought.
Dare I say this behavior is criminal?
All opt-ins aren’t created equal, however.
Opt-ins can be empowering when offered ethically and honorably. Being forthcoming with all the terms and conditions separates the shady from the sensible. Most importantly, the checkboxes must be presented to you unchecked and the cases made as to why you should select them.
Alas, such fairness is rare. Far more often than not, decisions are being forced upon you.
The very simple and powerful truth is that you need not leave be these pre-selected opt-in boxes. You can opt-out – anytime, anywhere, anyhow. Two actions are all that’s required. First, acknowledge the existence of the little box and its manipulative intent. Second, click it to remove the checkmark, thereby absolving yourself from the burdens.
Imagine how your career will improve when you opt-out of average performance expectations. Imagine how your vitality will soar when you opt-out of big business-backed nutritional guidelines. Imagine how your joy will bloom when you opt-out of being a stuck-up adult all the friggin’ time.
Opting out is a valid option, a smart option. It takes above average sense and not a trivial amount of gumption to do so. That’s precisely why it’s special. And that’s precisely why it’s necessary.
If you don’t enjoy forced decisions flooding your life inbox, then proudly opt-out. Scammy peons be damned.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m with you on this. Standard life is so well marketed that we scarcely know that we are not making the choices and being forced into a standard little box with very restrictive 2×4 borders. In fact, society will frown upon nyone who dares to breach those imaginary walls. But, it is possible to live outside the lines, to live deliberately, to redesign your own boundaries (and it needn’t even be square!). I know many rules are there for protection and the greater good, but many of them are mere smoke being blown up our collective asses. Imagine a life where we all live according to our own unique purpose and add value according to our own design. Good article.
Well said Daryl. The “2×4 borders” metaphor is a wonderful encapsulation of the walls we all face, knowingly or not.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Matt
Everything you say is so true, but what I want to know is where on earth do I start if I want to opt out? At the moment I’m young(ish) and single without kids. I want to opt out now before any of the above begin to complicate things. I want to be living the life I want before I start bringing life in!
Good question Charlotte. In my experience, you must start with mindset. Mindset drives thinking mechanics that then influence decisions, that then govern actions, which culminate in habits.
Mindset can apply to your career decisions, healthy (or not so healthy) choices, pursuits of happiness, etc.
This subject, at large, is a fundamental one. Hence, it’s an “only you know best” one. But it always starts with mindset and “opting out” of a conventional one.
Hope that helps!
Matt
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