19 Online Idols Reveal Their Private Tips to Shatter Linear Expectations

“What one tip do you use in your own life to shatter linear expectations?”

I asked that question to 19 of today’s most popular bloggers, thought-leaders, and change-agents. These are some of the pioneers leading the charge for a more thoughtful, decisive, creative, and fulfilling tomorrow. So I certainly had high-hopes for their feedback.

But their wisdom, life-experience, and little tips blew me away!

Each is magic, but I must say that I particularly fancy the insights from Chris Guillebeau (#4), Danielle LaPorte (#6), Derek Shanahan (#7), and Jane Friedman (#10).

Which are your favorites? And what is your non-linear tip for escaping the stranglehold of mindless expectations? Be sure to share in the comments!

Enter the rockstars…

1. 

   “Remove the excess crap from your life. And, no, I’m not just talking about physical crap – although that was a big part of it for us.  It was debt, clutter, fear, societal pressures, low income, conformity. All of these things combined to clog up our life – to create a burden that made it nearly impossible not to have low expectations.

   You see, I believe that passionate expectations are at the very core of intentional living. And it’s just so damn hard to live intentionally when every decision, action, or desire is clogged with physical, mental, and emotional crap. Some call this “minimalism”… others “time management” or “simplifying”. I don’t care what you call it, but it’s an important principle. The less crap in your life the easier it is to fully embrace freedom. You gain flexibility. You are able to adapt more quickly and more passionately to your surrounding. Thus, you are more free.

   Life doesn’t have to be a routine – in fact, our attempts to make life a routine are often the cause of low expectations. So how did we bust them? We just made it impossible not to bust them. By minimizing the amount of crap in our life, our newfound freedom did the trick itself. We are far from perfect, but high expectations are now common place in our life – and we aren’t turning back anytime soon!”

   – Adam Baker, ManVsDebt.com

2. 

   “Don’t force creativity.

   Sure, give yourself chunks of time to write or draw or design, or whatever it is you do. But don’t sit there struggling and hating every second of it. Getting hung up on ‘self-discipline’ is going to kill your creativity and drain the fun right out of it. Give yourself permission to play around — and goof off when necessary. That’s just as much a part of the creative process as the ‘doing’ is.”

   – Ali Luke, Aliventures

3. 

   “In order to become perpetually great, you need to focus.

   I’ve found that when I switch off the gadgets and sit quietly on my own, my goals shape themselves. The power that comes from planning and watching those goals materialize (no matter what they are) is stronger and has more overall definition on your success than any self-help book or coaching session you could ever encounter. Focus, my friends. Just focus.”

   – Chris C. Drucker, Virtual Business Lifestyle

4. 

   “‘Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation.’

   This quote by Teilhard de Chardin, a Jesuit priest, illustrates well the idea of Modern Audacity. To bust expectations, don’t set them in the first place. To exceed limits, ignore their existence. Therein lies the distinction between surviving and thriving. Proceed towards thriving!”

   – Chris Guillebeau, The Art of Non-Conformity

5. 

   “The biggest ‘expectation’ I overcame was that of the life you’re supposed to live after growing up in a working class household in the suburbs. It would have been easy to settle in to a life like I observed growing up. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a working class suburbanite, but I certainly don’t think that life would have challenged me to live to my fullest potential.

   The biggest thing that helped me exceed that expectation was moving to a city, in a dense urban environment. Meeting ambitious people who were doing interesting things like starting businesses, working as artists, traveling the world or going to grad school really opened my eyes and helped me forge a new path for myself. If I hadn’t physically moved into that new environment, I probably wouldn’t be answering this question today.”

   – Corbett Barr, Think Traffic & CorbettBarr.com

6. 

   “Trust.

   Trust is a muscle that you need to keep working. It’s a three step process, really: first you raise your expectations, then you commit to taking the risks involved in fulfilling those high expectations (you can’t skip that part, you’ve got to meet life half way), and last you anchor to some faith – faith that you’ll have what it takes to do great work. And faith that that great work will be met with applause and prosperity.

   Trusting that life wants me to win helps me leap and innovate — and bust outta my own limited expectations. Trust and expectation are stellar combo.”

   – Danielle LaPorte, White Hot Truth

7. 

   “Audacity, to me, is a matter of acting beyond the constructs of your comfort zone.

   Pushing at the world a little to see what happens, and listening to its response acutely enough to fuel yourself with the confidence you’ll need to move away from what you think you should be doing and what you should be doing.

   I’m not a big fan of the rhetoric so prevalent online about self-realization and finding your dream and risking it all to change the world. I think most of it makes tomorrow seem further away. Like there’s some secret, some light switch, some attitude adjustment that’ll turn you into someone who churns out impressive advances and projects and ideas, and all of sudden walks around with the world in your pocket.

   Audacity isn’t an attitude adjustment. Audacity is iterative. Living a life that feels like it’s moving you towards greatness (or is your own special brand of greatness in and of itself) is a matter of dipping your toe into the water, testing your ideas or ambitions, and spending some of your personal time on efforts to shape your own tomorrow.

   Test, test, test. Put your ideas out there and collaborate with people you find inspiring. Reinvent the way you work or the things you work on, and understand that hard work is quite literally the only way to make something happen in this world.

   It sucks, quite often. It’s worth it, without question.

   There is simply nothing that can replace the feeling that you’re spending your time on something that truly matters to you. The end begins to matter not, because the ride is so enjoyable.”

   – Derek Shanahan, Food Tree & Twenty-Something Bloggers

8. 

   “The fear, the anger, the confusion that you’re feeling is simply sensation, it will pass.

   The difference between believing something is possible or impossible is simply that, a belief. So many people believe that reality is what is outside them, and it’s constraining you, when in fact the reality is that all of your expectations are set within your own mind. If you told me a year ago that I’d work less than 2 hours a day, I’d probably laugh. If you’d told me last month that I’d make more income in the first day of November than I had the previous month combined, I’d laugh. Now I have.

   Anything you can dream of doing has probably already been done. This means there are no excuses anymore. Thoughts will come, thoughts will pass. Set your expectations for yourself high; there’s really no other option.”

   – Everett Bogue, Far Beyond the Stars

9. 

   “You don’t have to fit into societies definition of normal.

   I had a nervous breakdown in my early twenties. I got kicked out of university; only had experience in two short-lived jobs and had a string of many failed friendships. Basically, I was a failure from the time I entered adulthood and life only got harder for many years.

   Eventually I found the right treatment and I recovered. I learned that trying to be ‘normal’ is bullshit. No-one is normal.

   My work doesn’t fit into any normal definition. I have trouble explaining to my family how I make my living as a blogger. I recently went to Blogworld and couldn’t explain to unfamiliar people what I do. I make a good living from it and it has afforded me so many new and fantastic opportunities. I also have a behavioural eating disorder. I wont eat any vegetables except for potatoes. That gets you a lot of funny looks as you become an adult.

   My point is this. You will have people telling you that you are wrong, and weird, and different your entire life. You can conform and live a mediocre live. Or you can defy expectation and convention and live the life that you want. I’ve definitely copped flack for my choices but I also believe they are what helped me beat a severe mental illness.”

   – Jade Craven, JadeCraven.com

10. 

    “If you want to make a change in your life, you need to own the change and declare to yourself (and to the world, if you must) exactly what you are, right at this moment.

    Too many people think they have to go through a long, arduous process of ‘working’ on themselves, or that they have to prove to others they’ve changed. If you want to be bold, then you can be whatever it is you want at the very moment you decide it. It’s our own fear or lack of self-confidence that prevents us from taking ownership TODAY of who we want to become—or who we want to BE from this moment onward.”

    – Jane Friedman, There Are No Rules (Reader’s Digest) and JaneFriedman.com

11. 

    “Low expectations? That’s an insult. That’s how I answer.

    I honestly don’t understand how people can make it in this world if they’re not optimistic, driven, and totally unsatisfied with just getting by. People who expect the least get the least. I can’t live with the least. I don’t believe in either/or…I believe in both. When someone suggests that I can only have X, I get really irritated. Of course I can only have more!

    So if you want to blast through low expectations, ask yourself if you really want to be like those people who just ‘get by.’ Do you want to be like the average Wal-Mart shopper? No? Then get audacious.“

    – Johnny B Truant, JohnnyBTruant.com

12. 

    “Understand that most conventional life-limiting wisdom derives from the collective experience of those who’ve either tried and failed or never had the will to try.

    They are not you. Their limitations are not yours. Their talents, abilities and mission are not yours. Kick the tires, as much as possible, build your rules from experience, not assumptions or untested ‘wisdom.’”

    – Jonathan Fields, JonathanFields.com & Tribal Author

13. 

    “Whenever you think you ‘should’ do something, or that it might be a good idea… it’s time to stop and ask Why?

    Not just why is it a good idea, but Why do you care?

    If you can’t come up with a decent answer, you’re probably trying to force yourself to do something you don’t really care about. And that serves no one.”

    – Jonathan Mead, Illuminated Mind

14. 

    “To avoid disappointment you have to stop having expectations for things you can’t control.

    You can’t control other people. You can’t control the lottery. (Instead of buying a lottery ticket buy a sandwich.) You can only control yourself.

    Whenever you attempt something audacious there will be naysayers. If they’re close to you let them go. If they’re not close to you then their opinions are worthless. Whatever the case, attempting something audacious is the only way you’ll ever lead a full life. Do it or don’t, but know that simple fact.”

    – Karol Gajda, Ridiculously Extraordinary

15. 

    “Don’t Read Your Reviews.

    I used to think that I had to listen to criticism. Only an egomaniac that thinks they could do no wrong would ignore their own critics, right? I thought listening to the peanut gallery was something that was a part of life, and something that would even help me grow into a better person.

    Now I know better.

    I don’t listen to critics and I don’t read my reviews. If I see a Google alert come up with a rant about me, I don’t take the bait and click it. Yes, this is hard to do. But it eliminates a lot of negativity from my life and allows my to live by my own standards, not someone else’s.

    The criticisms you receive aren’t based on some universal truth sent down from above. They are based on the perspective from the individual who is voicing them. That perspective is no more wrong or right or ‘true’ or untrue than your own perspective. There is no inherent value in it. By selecting the opinions you let into your world, you’re making an active choice in the value and belief systems that influence you.”

    – Laura Roeder, LauraRoeder.com

16. 

    “I try not to worry about what others expect of me. I’d rather do my own thing, to my own standards and satisfaction, because I love doing it; and because I want to do an amazing job, for myself.

    I’ve tried living up to (or down to) the expectations of others, but that puts you at the whim of what others are feeling at the moment. Let what they think be their problem, and what you think be yours.”

    – Leo Babauta, Zen Habits & Mnmlist.com

17. 

    “I ask myself `Why not?’

    Why not really push myself and see what I’m capable of. Why not see how far I can stretch my boundaries, how many times I can fail before I succeed. Why not live the life you want, surrounding yourself with the people you think highly of and have fulfilling and enriching experiences on a daily basis? Why not do that really scary thing you’ve always wanted to?

    If not you, then who? If not now, then when?

    It’s very easy to live a mediocre life, to be comfortable and to never step into your power. It takes guts, determination, willpower, passion and action to live a life that is meaningful. At the end of the day you have just one life and you might as well live it to the fullest and to your best ability.

    – Natalie Sisson, The Suitcase Entrepreneur

18. 

    “Take the time you need to figure out what really makes you tick.

    You may think you know what you want in life, but chances are that those ideas are something you’ve picked up along the way through osmosis from society or peers. What do YOU want to do, be, experience? I call this taking a step off the assembly line of life. Once you’ve figured out what makes you happy, go out and do it. It may start out with just a few hours per week, but eventually it will build momentum and you’ll be doing the stuff that makes you happy more often than not. And that busts all expectations of how ‘life is supposed to be.’”

    – Nathalie Lussier, NathalieLussier.com & Raw Foods Witch

19. 

    “Take a risk on something you’ve always wanted to do since you were a child. If it’s been around that long, that’s probably a good indication it’s really important to you and it’s worth your time. If you think you can’t do it now, ask yourself why not. It usually has to do with what other people would think of you, but here’s a shocking truth: no one actually cares that much about how you live as long as it doesn’t interfere with them. As long as nobody really cares, you might as well do what you want, right?”

    – Tyler Tervooren,  Advanced Riskology

Now it’s your turn!

What’s your audacious tip for busting through the chains of low expectations and breaking into a fresh altitude of possibility? Please share in the comments!

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