5 Essential Lessons of True Love from the Legend of Cupid and Psyche

Let me guess, you have a love/hate relationship with Valentine’s Day.

Am I right?

You’re not alone if you do. I, for one, am the same way.

Material possessions. Overpriced everything. Half-hearted gestures of true love. All these things and more drive me crazy about this egregiously overhyped Hallmark holiday.

But I love the story of Valentine’s day.

It’s born from the legend of Cupid and Psyche – one of the most iconic stories from ancient Greek and Roman mythology. And since modern consumerism has perverted it’s true nature so successfully, I figured it was time to retell it and share some essential learnings.

The Legend of Cupid and Psyche

Psyche is a stunningly beautiful girl who is worshiped far and wide for her beauty. In fact, her beauty is so great that the people of the land begin to forget about Venus, the goddess of love, beauty, and fertility.

Venus becomes furious that a mortal’s beauty would steal attention away from her. So she plots to ruin Psyche by sending her son, Cupid, to pierce the girl with an enchanted arrow that will make her fall in love with ugliest man alive.

Cupid is prepared to do his duty. But when he sees Psyche in her full splendor he is instantly captivated by her and instead shoots himself with the arrow.

Curiously, despite the widespread adoration of Psyche’s beauty, no gentleman had proposed to marry her. This became a great worry for her family, who appealed to Apollo for help. Apollo answered their prayers with instructions for Psyche. She was to climb a hill and marry a serpent.

Psyche courageously followed Apollo’s orders. She soon falls asleep a top the hill only to be awakened later by the sudden appearance of a stunning mansion. She ventures inside and discovers many luxuries. And at night, covered in darkness, she meets and falls in love with her husband whom she cannot see.

Life is wonderful for a time until Psyche is convinced by her sisters to sneak a look at her veiled husband. She strikes a light one evening and sees the beautiful Cupid lying in bed with her. Psyche immediately weeps for her lack of faith. And Cupid leaves her because he knows that true love cannot live where there is no trust.

This latest situation infuriates Venus more. So she devises a new scheme to get revenge on Psyche.

But Psyche has plans of her own. She had fallen deeply in love with Cupid and won’t rest until they are together again. So she searches the land for him. Unsuccessful, she reluctantly turns to Venus herself to plea for help and forgiveness.

This is the moment Venus had been waiting for, and she uses it to unleash her scheme.

Venus challenges Psyche to a series of impossible trials all of which she must complete if she is to see Cupid again. The trials include sorting a heap of seeds in a single night, surviving a night on a single piece of bread, retrieving a golden fleece from the River Styx, and filling a flask from the treacherous mouth of the river.

Amazingly and miraculously, Psyche conquers all the challenges thanks in large part to the assistance of nature’s creatures.

Venus is of course stunned and issues a final trail.

Psyche is to venture into the underworld and have Persephone encase some of her beauty in a box. Surprisingly again, Psyche succeeds. But on her way back with the box she succumbs to temptation and peaks inside. The enchanting force puts her straight to sleep.

Meanwhile, Cupid had realized that he could not forsake his true love and thus went looking for her. He eventually finds her asleep and, upon awakening her, takes her before Zeus, king of the Gods. Cupid asks that Zeus make Psyche an immortal goddess so that they may properly marry.

Zeus accepts.

Cupid and Psyche are soon married with Venus’ full love and blessing since Psyche is now an immortal goddess and, as such, can no longer tempt the attraction of mortal men.

The 5 Essential Lessons of True Love from Cupid and Psyche

As with all ancient mythology, there is much deep meaning we can learn from this story. Granted, everyone will have personal interpretations. But here are what I believe to be the five hallmark (pun intended) lessons that we should all recognize and appreciate.

1. Love arrows don’t work

If the legend of Cupid and Psyche teaches us anything, it is that we don’t need love arrows to garner true love. In the modern sense, I regard love arrows as expensive gifts, elaborate experiences, seductive lifestyles, and more.

This isn’t to suggest that arrows are evil; I’m not opposed at all to giving expensive gifts on occasion. But the point is that you shouldn’t lead with them because you risk a false or shallow love. In Cupid’s case, he didn’t even need the arrow to fallen completely in love with Psyche.

Love arrows also tend to be one-side and shortsighted. Today’s gift giving society is unfortunately focused on the (relative) size of the gift and not the joy of the giving. If that sounds like you, then maybe you should shoot yourself in the ass with Cupid’s arrow.

Love to give for the joy it brings. And give everyday, not just today because the 1-800-FLOWERS commercial told you to.

2. There is no love without trust

Cupid walked out on Psyche when she broke the trust they had together. It’s a powerful lesson that many know but few fully embrace. So consider this your friendly reminder.

Trust is vital and beyond description or debate.

But what I love about this moral of the story is that trust can be regained. It’s not easy as we’ll see next. But it is possible if your heart remains pure. Such was the case of Psyche’s true love, one I might add that never formed from an arrow.

3. True love must endure impossible trials

I have yet to meet any couple that has the “perfect” relationship. Perhaps the relationship isn’t the point. The human condition is, after all, imperfect. How about we stop trying to be perfect and instead devote ourselves to enduring through the challenges?

There’s a more important lesson at play here. Psyche didn’t just endure the trials that happened to come her way. She intentionally choose to undertake impossible trials for the hope of seeing her true love again.

That right there is the magic to making true love (or any true achievement) a reality.

4. Love and the Soul are inseparable

Psyche’s name (“psyche”) is the Greek word for the soul. I wasn’t aware of this when I first read this legend. But it makes so much sense now that I know it.

Cupid embodies love and Psyche represents the soul. These are the two pieces of love’s true form. Their union is inseparable. This should prove the point that while appearance attracts it is the soul that binds true love together.

I also find it interesting that Cupid’s and Psyche’s union didn’t fully occur until after their journey of impossible trials (#3 above). This should make you think about the love that you have in your life and what you’ve done (if anything) to earn it.

5. When love is pure all is possible

Legends from ancient mythology don’t always have happy endings. This ones does.

Psyche redeems herself and then some by accepting and conquering Venus’ insidious trials. Cupid comes to his senses and realizes that he cannot forsake his true love. Zeus accepts the request to make Psyche an immortal goddess. And Venus supports their happy marriage.

The ancient storytellers sure had a killer final message here – although the road towards true love may be difficult and imperfect, if the pursuit is pure then all is possible.

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Editor’s Note: I’m proud to share that this article is a contributor to Jasmine Lamb’s Love Sparks Blogging Festival. Please visit her Love Sparks compilation page to see the full listing of articles written and published today that celebrate love’s true form.

Image credit: James Thorpe